God surprised people christened ‘Richard’ still insist on being called ‘Dick’

God. The all-knowing one. The creator of all. The Divine Being. But there is one thing he doesn’t understand, which he explained to a local journalist today ‘Richard is a fine name. A fine, upstanding name. So why now, in the 21st Century, do people still shorten it to Dick? I’m fine with old-school 1950s entertainers, your Dick Van Dyke, your Dick Emery, even your Dick Whittington. But nowadays, your hard-nosed modern day business leader? Richard Law, chief transfer fixer for Arsenal, the man you want by your side when negotiations with a Bundesliga club turn tricky. Or Dick Law, easily confused with a low-grade low budget adult film? Richard Pound, former head of the World Anti-Doping Agency, the perfect networker and deal maker who gets things done. Or Dick Pound, accidentally mistaken for the star of a low-grade low budget adult film? And don’t even get me started on the American Footballer Dick Butkus.’

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